All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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