She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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