I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize