If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
