i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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