He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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