i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
