garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
