STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
