It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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