Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
