In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
