If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
