You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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