That's intense
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
