So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
