you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
