I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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