Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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