i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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