I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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