I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
