if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
