this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
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By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
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Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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