My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i think i just lost a toe
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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