Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
