You work out of a Hotel?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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