I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
