It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
