Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
