he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
