im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize