I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
