Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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