I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
