im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize