Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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