So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
