can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He felt like a one man threesome
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
