I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
