I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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