Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize