We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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