his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
