READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
not ubering you a puppy
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
