check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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