OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize