The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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