I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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