I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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