btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
