the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
