no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
