my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize