Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
